Now Playing: On My Own

"I love him but everyday I'm learning... all my life I've only been pretending."

She's starting to doubt her capability of moving on. She's starting to think that moving forward is an impossible feat for a weakling like her. He should be sued for giving her this kind of torture because she can't stand it no more. She just can't do it anymore.

These past few days, she's well aware that she's been avoiding him like the plague. She's well aware of how hard it was for her to resist doing drastic things just to get close to him. Thanks to some "distractions", she's able to get through the "resisting" unscathed. But her heart... well, her heart still feels beaten and bruised. It still hasn't recovered from what it has been through.

Will the time ever come for her to feel less hurt?

She squatted under the tree and then started to scribble on her trusty notebook...

Dear M,

How are you today? I just hope... really hope that you're doing well. 

It's been two months since I last saw you. Two long months and I can't believe I was able to resist reaching out to you despite the fact that I've been wanting to do it since the last time I saw you. Time is moving so fast; I lost count of it. Time is moving so fast and it seems like I'm drifting far away from you. I can feel it. I know it.

There's nothing I can do about it, is there? I can no longer do something to change the things that's been going on. I don't know. Maybe, painful as it may seem, I really have to let you go now. I know it took me too long to realize this but believe me when I say it's not that easy. And it will never be easy for me.

I have to let you go. I have to stop hoping. I have to stop wishing. I just want to let you go. I love you. I really do. But, I just can't do anything when it comes to your heart. Maybe... maybe my love is not enough for the two of us. I have to let you go because I love you. I have to let you go because I can't and I won't tie you down. I have to let you go and I have to free myself.

Good bye. I love you (one last time)


Forever yours,

K

"Without me his world will go on turning... a world that's full of happiness that I have never known..."