Now Playing: Fantasy (by Hwang Kaizhi)

"How can this be close to reality when all I know having you is fantasy?"

The girl placed her hands on her lap as she surveyed the people passing by in front of her. She couldn't seem to understand but she's looking for something... rather, someone. She knew from the bottom of her heart who he is but, for some unfathomable reason... ah, there's no such things as reasons when it comes to him. Her heart and mind could be irrational for all she cares. She wouldn't mind being insane or whatever people may call her. She sighed as she surveyed again the fast paced world moving in front of her. Then, she pull out her notebook and pen and started scribbling the things she wanted to say to him...

Baby,

I am now sitting in front of the tea house where I always wanted to have a date with you. Crazy, isn't it? By the way, these past few days, I've grown this particular addiction to milk tea. Well, a girl can dream. Anyway, I'm writing a letter to you now because I want to rant. And I know, that you would willingly listen to these rants so I'm pretty confident doing this.

Since Tuesday, I've been through hell and back because of the drastic changes that's going on with my work. I don't know. Maybe, I am just fearing the things that I shouldn't fear but yes, I'm scared. I'm scared because I feel lost as an employee right now. Not because my tenure is faltering but because of the changes that's going on and about to take place. I'm scared as can be and I don't know how to overcome that. And that fear is turning into something stressful. Our COO is bombarding me with additional tasks - and I tell you, those tasks that I'm not so familiar with. I was assigned to do the Human Resources Metrics and it's freaking me out. What if what I'm doing is wrong? What if the data I put there were not accurate? What if those data were different from what they have? What if I'm not really fit for this? What if I can't do it? It's scaring me and it's making me nervous because people might be expecting so much from me. I know I'm just having silly thoughts but what can I do?

Baby, I'm so sorry for being so pessimistic. I just... I don't know. Maybe, if you're here with me, I wouldn't be as scared as I am right now. Maybe if I can see you every time I step inside the house, these worries would vanish. Maybe, just maybe... you could ease this raging feelings of insecurities inside me.

I wish you're here to hug me when I feel so tired and wasted. I wish you're here to sing for me when my nerves get the better of me. I wish you're here because you always know what to say every time I feel like this. I wish you're here because I miss you. I miss you so much.

I love you.

Forever yours,

K

P.S.
I'm still waiting for you to come.

She sighed again as she breathed deeply after closing her notebook. If this is the only way for her to communicate to the one she loves the most, so be it. She will write and write and write until all the pages of her notebook are filled. And she will buy a new one wherein she could write some more. 

"It's with you I feel comfort, it's with you I belong."